Word Of The Day - Archive

These are a selection of my words of the day - real words with NEW meanings that I have invented and posted on Twitter daily.

BLASTOCYSTIS - use of explosives to destroy tiny parasites, (bit of overkill actually).

RSPB - what you write on party invitations when you want a reply by carrier pigeon.

CORDON BLEU - a French road block

INDULGENT - "When I stabbed that boring man, my knife was indulgent".

PROGNOSTICATE - to guess what's coming up on TV.

DECREPIT - to remove a very old French pancake.

CULTURE - bacteria in a petri dish with an appreciation of fine arts and books.

CLANDESTINE - the secret fate of a Scottish family.

NEONATAL - the name of the hero in a South African remake of The Matrix.

FRANTIC - the mark a teacher makes when having to check homework hurriedly.

EUREKA - telling your neighbour he has body odour (from The Beano 1952).

SABBATICAL - a year of Sundays.

STEWARD - complicated casserole recipe.

ARKANSAS - woodworking tool used by Noah and his sons.

CONTENT - deception that going camping is a good idea.

SHOWER - From olde English myths. When the sky god wanted to impress the earth god, he would say "I will show her".

SUPPURATE - Having eaten dinner.

SERF - someone who's enslaved by the Internet.

ICONOCLAST - the name of the final Apple Store opened in Conoc, Peru (see iConocFirst).

DIODE - Welsh loan shark.

iCHING - a type of cash register made by Apple.

TITTLE - a job description that makes you laugh, such as calling a receptionist "The Welcome".

SUBAUDITION (this is a real word!!!) - Applying to be on the underwater version of Britain's Got Talent.

RUBRIC - a procedure for solving that annoying coloured cube problem.

DEGRADE - giving a student a score between C and E.

VELOCIRAPTOR - a particularly mean-looking Italian scooter.

CONDIMENT - a trick explained by a Welshman.

FORESOOTH - olde English expression for those occasions when threesooth just weren't enough.

INHIBITION - an exhibition held behind closed doors.

BEARD - from an old pirate phrase to new recruits "Be 'ard, grow some 'air on yer face!"

LUPIN - a plant the seeds of which turn people into wolves (see LUPINE).

AMBULATORY - being walked to hospital.

WHINE - what you do if you find your bottle of Zinfandel is corked.

CULT - a young horse that has joined a strange religion. See also OCCULT - Irish version.

PIQUANT - what you need if you want 3.1416 of something.

TARE - the weight of all the oil deposited on the coast of the Gulf of Mexico.

VAPID - Very rapid, or flat out.

MORGANATIC - someone who is really, REALLY, keen on cars made by a minor British company.

REMORSE - sending a coded message of regret again.

KOAN - what is the sound of one hand... making a 3D geometric shape?

PANACHE - the pain you feel when your flamboyant cooking goes wrong.

RHAPSODIZE - ya know what I'm saying when you look at the earth/You want to enthoose over what it's worth/C'MON!!!

HETEROGENEOUS - male and female geneous (as opposed to homogeneous).

Spanish #wotd SENOR : a retired gentleman.

Italian #wotd : PORTFOLIO - a Mediterranean dockyard used for the export of leather briefcases.


POST-MORTEM - A new Fed-Ex delivery service for funeral parlors.

PENINSULA - a very isolated writing implement.

DINOSAUR - a special steak knife for cutting up REALLY old meat.

TARRY - a verb used to describe the slow dispersal of oil in the Gulf of Mexico.

DECIDUOUS - trees that made a choice to shed their leaves annually.

HAPTICS - the marks your schoolteacher put on your essay about a Thomas Hardy sonnet.

DOGGEREL - (bad) poetry written by Lassie when she embarked on a new post-rescue career.

BUXOM - Old English word for a chest that can be worth a lot in certain circumstances.

CONVENTION - the tradition amongst nuns to ignore immoral men.

OBESE - a combination of "obey" and "ease", it denotes how easy it is to do what food adverts suggest: eat, eat, eat.

BIFURCATE - purchasing a coat for a pet Sphynx.

BUSTICATE (real word!) Eating until you explode.

BEHEMOTH - this is one HUGE moth you wouldn't want to attract with a night light. Big as a hippopotamus (Job 40:15)

INCEPTION - The planning process for a new pub.

French #wotd BEAUCOUP - how the Normans described the overthrow of King Harold by archers.

ANGIOPLASTY - cosmetic surgery for one of the stars of Eastenders.

SENTIENCE - the ability to put a group of words together so that they are intelligible.

MANIFESTO - Italian word, when a horse's mane and tail are decorated for a saint's day.

IMPEDIMENTA - the name of a character in the #dconv Bible drama who's bags were always getting in the way

DISCUSSION - a debate about music.

BLAZER - a jacket that is susceptible to bursting into flames spontaneously.

CONSCIENCE - faked results from experimentation.

PALLADIAN - of Greek origin, translates as "He ain't heavy, he's my brother" .

SWEATER - someone who insists on wearing a jumper on the London Tube in summer.

SHENANIGANS - female nanigans, particularly devious ones.

INVENTORY : a ficticious list of stock in a warehouse.