09 August 2009

Fantasy or Reality

Our congregation today had a public lecture given by a traveling overseer, Brother Anibaba, standing in for our normal Circuit Overseer. His theme was to do with comparing fantasies with realities.

He made several points about the danger of relying upon fantasies to cope with daily life, but one thing he said really stood out to me. About whether our hope is a fantasy or a reality.

If you read Matthew 24:14, Jesus Christ stated that the Good News would be preached in every nation before the end comes. Now, in 33CE, how realistic would it have been to expect that everyone in the world WOULD hear the message? If you had a copy of the Yearbook of 33CE, what would have been the worldwide report?

Number of countries preached in? One
Number of publishers? 12
Number of memorial partakers? 12
Ratio of publishers to population? Too hard to calculate!

So was it a fantasy to think that the message would be preached worldwide? NO.

Look at the success of those following this preaching commission nowadays. JESUS PROPHECY HAS BECOME A REALITY. The Good News is preached in hundreds of countries, in hundreds of languages by millions of people. Far from being a fantasy, Jesus was simply stating what WOULD happen!

How many other prophecies of his are coming true and will come true? The Kingdom hope is a reality, something we can depend upon.

What an incredibly upbuilding thought from a scripture that I have read dozens of times. I am so grateful to Jehovah for this encouragement!

29 July 2009

Star Trek Where's Wally?

This is something that I found on the Movie Moron website. It made me laugh out loud:




Go to this site to see it animated: Movie-Moron.com

22 July 2009

Children's Bible in a Nutshell

A child was told to write a "book report" on the entire Bible. Through the eyes of a child . . . .

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.

Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Any way's, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

21 July 2009

The Geek and the Frog

A computer geek was in the local park one day with his laptop, busily tapping away when he heard a noise and looked up to see a frog.

The frog called out to him and said: “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how intelligent and brave you are and how you are my hero.” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your sex goddess for an entire week: ” The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out: “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything that you want.” Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked: “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, I’ll stay with you for a whole year and do a n y t h i n g you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”

The man said: “Look, I’m a computer geek. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is sooo cool.”

From http://www.geeks.co.uk/2009/07/20/2513/

09 July 2009

A Twitter Twibe

Many know about Twitter, the web 2.0 app designed for people to post short status messages (yeah, right, status messages?) about themselves for the world and their friends to read. But what about a "twibe"?

A twibe, or twitter tribe, is based on a website separate to Twitter called twibes.com. Essentially, a twibe is a group of twitter users. By ensuring their tweets contain a keyword, tweets by twibe members can be read by everyone in the twibe.

As an example, I have created a twibe http://twibes.com/JWs for twitter users who are Jehovah's Witnesses. By tweeting this URL, a tweeter joins the twibe. Thereafter, by including the letters JWs in a tweet, the tweet appears in the twibe tweet history, or timeline.

Once part of the twibe, a person can enter a tweet directly into the twibe timeline and have it appear only in that timeline, or have it ALSO included in their normal timeline, where it becomes visible to their normal followers as well.

So why use a twibe instead of just using normal Twitter hashtags? A hashtag is simply where a tweet includes a word or an abbreviation preceded by a # symbol, such as #JWs. Whilst it is possible to search Twitter by hashtags, a twibe offers a few more benefits.

  • Tweets shown in the twibe timeline are limited to those made by twibe members, whereas a search by hashtag will show tweets by anyone using the tag.
  • Some use a hashtag inappropriately and so skew search results, maybe filling the search results page with rubbish. Twibe tweets are deliberately aimed at the twibe and are normally all relevant.
  • A twibe founder can remove a twibe member's tweets from the twibe timeline if they turn out to be off-topic or otherwise unacceptable.
  • It is possible to post a tweet onto the twibe timeline by tweeting from the twibe homepage and not have the tweet appear in your own Twitter timeline. This can be useful in sharing information to the twibe in a private way.
  • You do not have to follow someone to see their tweets in the twibe timeline. You just have to join the twibe to see all twibe members' tweets.

09 June 2009

Tired of politics

I normally enjoy keeping up with the news, you know, all those earthquakes, wars, celebrity nonsense, and the occasional incompetence shown in the political world. But lately, I've felt overwhelmed by the media's coverage of the British political scene.

Normally, I try to keep neutral politically. I don't vote, or express favour in ANY way for one party or another. I have tried hard to keep a respectful attitude towards the positions that various people in authority have over the populace. I've always known that people in "power" do not really work in the best interests of the people they are meant to govern. After all, the Bible speaks about "man dominating man to his injury" (Ecclesiastes 8:9). It's just that we seem to have our noses rubbed in the ineptitude and apparent corruption of the ruling classes nowadays, and you know what? I AM SICK OF IT ALL!

So from now on, I intend to make merely a cursory glance at any news about what MPs and others in authority are up to and just let them get on with it. I am sincerely glad that the world's governments are ALL going to be done away with by God's Kingdom in the near future. Read these Bible passages, Daniel 7:13-14 and Matthew chapters 24 and 25, for more on this.

What we need are some rulers who are incorruptible, fair, just and kind. Just like the Bible promises. Now THAT is news to spend a lot of time on...

06 June 2009

Captain's Blog

... Stardate 2161...

Old pointy ears and Scotty givn me a rite pain... set fazer on stn!

Give me Klingons ne day.

Uhuru h@t tho.

- J.T.K.

(with apologies to Private eye - http://www.private-eye.co.uk )

03 June 2009

Tweeting from my phone

So what is it about Twitter that makes it SO addictive?

I've been tweeting (sending messages to my Twitter account) for a few months now. I follow the tweets of a number of people and have over 200 people who follow me, which is truly amazing. Especially considering I never say anything much; how can you in 140 characters (the maximum length of a tweet). Go and see http://twitter.com/ColinEnglish to see what I mean.

Anyway, I mostly tweet from my Dell Mininote 9 netbook when at home as it is so convenient to use. It runs Ubuntu Linux and I access Twitter via the Tweetdeck application. You can also run Tweetdeck on Windows, so we have it loaded on our home (Tiny PC) computer and the home (Acer) laptop. Truly a cross-platform approach. More on Tweetdeck another time...

HOWEVER, when it comes to my PDA phone, which runs Windows Mobile 6, it is a different story. I normally use two applications, PockeTwit and Twikini. Now both have good and not-so-good features. I don't really intend to write a review of each application, there will be links to their websites below.

Confession time. Not only do I tweet as me, Colin English, but I also tweet under pseudonyms. I started doing this as a joke, but got a bit carried away... PockeTwit allows me to send tweets from any of my Twitter accounts and also merges the "timelines" of all the accounts into one whole one, so I can see tweets from the people followed by all accounts and tweets to all accounts in one place. Occasionally, I find this overwhelming, which is why I have been using Twikini with my main account mostly (or I did until the beta test period expired). I find Twikini easier to use, and I think this is primarily because it only looks at one Twitter account at a time.

[This does NOT mean that having multiple Twitter accounts is a BAD idea - far from it. It is recommended that you keep your personal life and work life separate if you intend to tweet about both, simply to keep your sanity and the sanity of the people who follow each side of your life. People interested in what you say about, for example, your hobbies may NOT be interested in your comments about the interesting C## algorithm you stumbled across in a developer's blog (yawn)].

So horses for courses. I really do like both Twikini AND PockeTwit.

Links:

Twikini = http://www.trinketsoftware.com/twikini/
PockeTwit = http://code.google.com/p/pocketwit/
Tweetdeck = http:/tweetdeck.com

Have fun!

Disclaimer: Other software to enhance your Twitter experience is available for Windows, Linux, Windows Mobile, Palm, Blackberry, iPhone, Symbian, etc. I an not saying that my choices are what YOU should follow.

Twkiki screen example:





















PockeTwit screen example:



30 May 2009

CCTV in Star Trek

According to urban myth, when you move around London, you will be caught on CCTV (close circuit TV cameras) up to about 300 times in any one day.

So why is there no CCTV in the USS Enterprise? When Geordi laForge calls the Bridge to say that there is something strange on the sensors when he scans Cargo Bay 2, a team of security red-shirts is dispatched to go and use the Mark 1 Eyeball to investigate, and they probably get sucked into an interdimensional vortex, get eaten by something that transported itself onto the ship, or they find another one of Wesley's damned nano-robot experiments gone haywire again. Either one of those OR there's nothing wrong, expect for Geordi's stupid sensors. He should have gone himself and used his fancy sunglasses-gadget to see what was going down.

HOWEVER, if the bridge crew had simply switched the CCTV on in Cargo Bay 2 - probably Ensign Bored's job - they would have seen the pile of tribbles, or whatever, and known if it was safe or not to send a red-shirt to arrest them.

See, makes so much sense. Oh wait, I forgot... it's a plot device. It's only a TV program after all.

So there you go, Rosemary, why CCTV isn't deployed on the Enterprise.

Post number 0

Yep, a blog. How did this happen? Not sure, really. And why post number 0? Well, it's an IT tech geeky thing... Maybe post number 1 will be more useful, the same as 1 is more useful than 0, unless you are counting in binary in which case both digits are essential.

See? Said I was geeky.