The top 10 festival funnies for 2010 were judged to be:
Tim Vine: "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
David Gibson: "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."
Emo Philips: "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."
Jack Whitehall: "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."
Gary Delaney: "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."
John Bishop: "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."
Bo Burnham: "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."
Gary Delaney: "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."
Robert White: "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."
Gareth Richards: "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…"
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Judges also selected some of the worst jokes of 2010's Fringe, which included:
Sara Pascoe: "Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side."
Sean Hughes: "You know city-centre beat officers... Well are they police who rap?"
John Luke Roberts: "I made a Battenberg where the two colours ran alongside each other. I called it apartheid sponge."
Emo Phillips: "I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them."
Bec Hill: "Some of my best friends are vegan. They were going to come today but they didn't have the energy to climb up the stairs."
Dan Antopolski: "How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan."
And that after Dan Antopolski was the 2009 winner with: "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"
More on this at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-11053202
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And now some from 2009:
Paddy Lennox: "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting.'"
Jack Whitehall: "I'm sure wherever my dad is, he's looking down on us. He's not dead. Just very condescending."
Marcus Brigstocke: "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"
Rhod Gilbert: "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble".
Dan Antopolski: "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."
Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) : "I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."
Tom Wrigglesworth: "I'm on the cusp of getting married. Well, I'm engaged to be harassed."
Edward Aczel: "Machiavelli said, 'It is better to be feared than to be loved, if you cannot be both.' Something to bear in mind when you embark on internet dating."
Phil Nichol: "A lot of people say I'm egocentric – but enough about them."
Stephen Carlin: "There are so many 'failed train' announcements at stations these days. It's not rolling stock, it's laughing stock."
Celia Pacquola: "My mind is like a cement mixer. It's grey, thick and always moving."
Rhys Darby: "I don't believe in guns. Literally; I don't believe they exist."
Frank Woodley: "I phoned the swine flu hotline and all I got was crackling."
Glenn Wool: "I wonder what would happen if Franz Ferdinand were assassinated?"
Stephen Grant: "I got an odd-job man in. He was useless. Gave him a list of eight things to do and he only did numbers one, three, five and seven. Had to get an even-man in to finish it off."
Richard Herring: "Act your age, not your shoe size ... that means something different on the Continent."
David O'Doherty: "I like the Ten Commandments but I have a problem with the ninth. It should be: "Thou shalt not covet they neighbour's ox, except in Scrabble".
Jimeoin: "Two aerials on a roof fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn't great but the reception was fantastic."
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