25 February 2011

The poor ex-pirate parrot

There was this man who visited an animal shelter and decided to take home a parrot that he was told had once been owned by a foul-mouthed pirate.

When he got the parrot home, he found that it constantly uttered swear words and was very bossy. "Don't ###### do ##### that!" shouted the parrot all morning. "If you don't quieten down and stop swearing, there'll be trouble!" replied the man. "Oh #### ##### with bells on!" screamed back the parrot.

After a few days, the man had had enough. "If you don't shut up, I'm going to lock you in a dark place" he warned. "No you ######## ####### won't!" screamed the parrot. "Right! See how you like this!" the man replied.

He grabbed the parrot, tied it up, opened the chest freezer, put the squalking parrot in and shut the lid on it. There were furious shouting noises from the freezer for a few minutes and then it suddenly went quiet.

After 10 minutes of silence, the man cautiously opened the freezer lid. The parrot looked up at him. Not a word, not a sound. He lifted the parrot out, untied it and put it back on its perch. "Are you going to behave now?" "I sure am," replied the parrot, "I am truly sorry for being bad. But, please tell me, what did that poor chicken do?"

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